Thursday, December 5, 2019

Day 3693 - Once Upon Another Time ...

The Fairy Tale Continues ....


This is a fairy tale about a Queen and her quest for a new castle.  If you  have not read the first set of Royal fairy tales yet Click Here.



Once upon a time there was a queen who was rather saddened royally pissed off that the castle of her dreams had been captured by commoners who'd managed to cross the mote and steal it from under her nose had been bought by the bastards with the tape measure who had more money than she did.

So the Queen did what any Queen would do.  She put on her crown and walked proudly and assertively back into the very expensive Castle the King had introduced them to previously, with a new financial plan and wads of cash displayed proudly on a velvet cushion with a vague financial plan rolling around her deep fried brain and absolutely no money.

The Queen and her family were simply going to the castle to have a look since they'd seen it before and it felt rather stately and majestic.  They wanted to see what a castle of this caliber might be worth so they could create a new Royal plan. It was auction day (pronounced awwwwction because she's a queen)and she needed to understand the wheelings and dealings of castle acquisition.  

The moment Princess Tiara of Instagram and Prince Jordan of Shoe-topia entered the Royal foyer they were stamping their oversized feet in glee. By the time King D from Eee Bay (which is a small island in the British Virgin Islands he'd bought from a swarthy fellow he found on Gumtree)had arrived it became acutely evident the Queen meant business. The awwwwction paddle in her hand may have tipped him off.

As the Queen's right hand kept shooting into the air showing off her impressive array of royal jewels her impressive second degree burns from falling asleep with her overheated wheat pack resting on her wrist,it was obvious the Royal family were well and truly about to leave the Commonwealth nation of Palmerston for the equally leafy and extremely popular nation of Forde (also a Commonwealth nation keeping her Head of State title well and truly in tact).

Winning the Awwwction was a moment the Queen and her family will remember forever. Breaking the news to the Royal Wizard a very nervous and slightly shell-shocked financial consultant (who looked remarkably like a ram)was difficult.  But the Queen being the Queen knew that no matter what, her suite of Royal staff would manage the acquisition with aplomb simply said "she'll be right mate ... it'll all work out in the wash ... you only live once" (in her well recognised and highly distinguished Royal accent and extremely high pitched bogan vernacular). 

The Queen will today return to her Royal duties with her feathered ink pen in one hand and royal decree in the other a box of coloured donuts to share with the Palace Staff to prepare for the exchange on the castle. 

Much of her day will be spent searching for the velvet cushion carrying cash which appears to have been placed somewhere secret for safe keeping.Or perhaps it no longer exists. It's strongly believed within the Royal family that much of it was ruthlessly taken by the recently ousted Jester who walked away from a Royal debt he'd acquired a number of years back and refused to take responsibility for.  But that's a fairy tale for another day.

So currently the Queen is wandering through life in a daze between her two castles and wondering why on Earth the Royal family allowed the most competitive Royal to have the awwwwction paddle in her hand in the first place.

Will she find the velvet cushion?
Has the Royal Wizard managed to conjure up the gold required to finalise the purchase? 
What will become of the Prince and Princess and their enormous feet?

To be continued ...

Seriously though, how freakin' awesome is this house! 





It's lovin' life linky day! Remember, no  matter what day it is, no matter what you're going through, no matter what the Jesters of the world hurl at you, there's always something to love about life.







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5 comments :

  1. Umm. "Good News"...this is good news...right? LOL. I hope your current house sells/is sold and all your new found house dreams come true. Denyse x

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  2. Exciting times!! I love the fireplace, I could see myself there with a glass of red!

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  3. Congratulations on such an amazing purchase. It certainly looks like a castle in the pics - you'll be too snooty to associate with the rest of us plebian bloggers now that you've acquired that stupendous abode!

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  4. Yeah, that's a freaking awesome house! Congratulations...and I hope you all live happily ever after... (That fireplace!)

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  5. Looks a wonderful place. Very nice. Congrats. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.

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