Thursday, December 10, 2020

The Chelsea Tree

 How do you remember a loved one at Christmas?


I guess when someone passes there is shock and mourning and then there is a numbness, followed by a feeling that they may knock on your door at any time.  Then you remember they won't and the mourning sets in again.  The longer they're gone, the more we miss them.  

Certain times of the year can magnify the emotions and sense of loss.  When everyone is gathered but there's a notable absence. 

There are ways though that we can honour and remember those who have passed before us.

Our C passed away a few weeks before Christmas in 2018.  Her dad bought her a small Christmas tree with colourful baubles and coloured lights to help create a feeling of festivity to her days while creating a rainbow for her nights, and I suppose a sense of hope that she'd be with us on Christmas Day.

Unfortunately she didn't get to see Christmas, but she did get to spend time with her tree.

That tree is now called The Chelsea Tree.

The Chelsea Tree is how we honour her at this time of year.  From the anniversary of her death through to New Year we keep the tree close to us.  Positioned next to the couches, in between the beds of her beloved dogs, and displaying unique decorations provided by all members of the extended Shea Langdown family.  





The Chelsea Tree allows us to also honour our other angels who are now with C in whatever world they've found themselves in.   Grandparents, parents and siblings are honoured.  Each special decoration hand selected, meaningful, sentimental and hanging in between the rainbow of baubles that brought colour to the last days of C's life. 




The Chelsea Tree travels with us to wherever we spend Christmas so the extended family can feel the presence and remember the people who left us too early.  As a result, C is with us at Christmas no matter where we might be, and with her she brings her baby sister and the parents and grandparents who can no longer physically sit at our table.



There are many other ways we can honour those who have passed, at this time of year. We've created this new Christmas tradition in C's name. 

How do you honour those who have passed?

What ideas do you have to remember loved ones at Christmas time?

Are you feeling a sense of mourning and missing someone greatly now that Christmas is near? 


Despite the realities of life there's always something to love about our days.  Join us on this Lovin' Life Thursday as we find the good stuff to focus on in our every day.

xoxo 



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20 comments :

  1. Leanne, Your Chelsea tree is beautiful and full of love. To honour those who have passed I try to think of what's unique and great about the person and the good times that I had with him or her.

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  2. I think that's a really lovely tradition. And I think acknowledging the absence with something tangible is probably better than the 'space' that grieving creates. This is a hard but lovely and important post. We can all learn a little from it.

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    1. I love your words "acknowledging the absence with something tangible is probably better than the space that grieving creates". You nailed it. xoxo

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  3. That's more beautiful than I can say. What a lovely way to honour her memory.

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  4. That is a loving and most appropriate way to remember and honour Chelsea. So many times recalled, smiles and tears. Making and keeping traditions, even when loved ones are no longer with us, means they 'live on' in our hearts. Beautiful. Denyse x

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  5. What a wonderful and touching tribute to Chelsea. Your family has created a tradition for remembrance of the good times.

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    1. I'm so happy to have this new tradition under such difficult circumstances. What's even better is that people from extended family and friendship groups are now also contributing to the tree in her memory and honour. It's so beautiful. xoxo

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  6. What a beautiful idea and a lovely reminder of Chelsea and the light she brought into your lives. I hope you feel her presence with you every time you look at her tree and that it brings happy memories to help balance the sadness of her loss xxx

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    1. We do feel her presence. It's very beautiful. I need to find a way to make that presence year round. xoxo

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  7. This is such a lovely way to continue the bonds with Chelsea. I currently work in grief and loss and times like Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc are always so much more painful for families. The void is so much bigger at that time. But it helps to have rituals and ways in which to keep those memories and continue the bonds with those who have died. Sending you and your family a lot of love!

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    1. Thanks Sanch. That must be a tough area to work in! So emotional. Well done though for taking on such an important role. xoxo

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  8. I love your Chelsea Tree, Leanne. It'd be a comfort knowing it gave her comfort in her final days and now is with you. I think it's also lovely that your Chelsea Tree honours all of those loved ones you're missing. My Dad passed away on 2 December 2017 at 1:15am - not long before Christmas so I know the ache of absence feeling at this time of year (and all year really) very well. xo

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    1. We share an anniversary week then as C was 5.12.18 at around 4.30 or 4.40am if I recall correctly. So for the first week of December every year we're both battling a resurgence of those emotions.
      Take care Min xoxo

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  9. Such a beautiful Chelsea Tree, so very nice. Thanks for sharing it with us. Very lovely.

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  10. That's wonderful! My family is big on personal ornaments, so even when loved ones are gone, their ornaments are still hung. Two of my grandparents passed on Christmas Day and another on Dec. 4th, 2012.

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I love hearing your thoughts! Keep them rolling in :)

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